Your Phone Is Stealing Your Life (Here's How to Take It Back)

Hey there,

I need to tell you something that's going to sting.

Last week, I checked my screen time. 6 hours and 47 minutes. In one day.

I did the math. At that rate, I'm spending over 100 days per year—nearly 4 months—staring at a screen. If I keep this up for the next 25 years, I'll have spent nearly 10 years of my life scrolling.

Ten years.

Not living. Not creating. Not experiencing. Just... scrolling through other people's lives while mine passes by.

And here's the worst part: I'm not alone. The average person spends 11 hours per day interacting with screens. 91% of people access the internet from their phones constantly. 71% never turn their phones off.

We're not just using our phones. We're addicted to them.

And it's stealing the one life we have.

Why You Can't Put It Down

Here's what's actually happening in your brain.

Every time you get a notification, see a funny video, or get a like on Instagram, your brain releases dopamine. The same chemical that gets released when you eat chocolate or have sex.

Your phone gives you unlimited dopamine hits. Hundreds per day. And every time it happens, the neural pathways in your brain that crave these hits get stronger.

You're not weak. You're not undisciplined.

Your brain is literally being rewired to need your phone.

Studies show that chocolate increases dopamine by 55%. Sex by 100%. Your phone? It's giving you those hits constantly, hundreds of times per day, without you ever having to leave your room.

The problem? Real life starts feeling boring in comparison.

That novel experience you used to get excited about? That conversation with a friend? That walk outside? They don't trigger the same dopamine response anymore because your brain is used to the constant stimulation from your phone.

And the data is brutal:

• Young people who spend 7+ hours on screens daily are twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression or anxiety

• Teens who spend 5 hours on their phones are 71% more likely to develop risk factors for suicide

• 31% of people admit they can't control their phone use

• 78% of people say they can't live without their phone

This isn't living. This is existing through a screen while life happens around us.

The Real Cost

Let me paint you a picture of what 10 years looks like.

10 years is enough time to:

• Master any skill you want

• Build a business from zero to life-changing

• Travel to 50+ countries

• Write 20 books

• Create thousands of memories with people you love

Or you can spend it scrolling through other people's highlight reels, watching your life pass by in a blur of notifications.

I started Elevenstoic because I hit rock bottom with this exact problem. I was spending 6+ hours daily on my phone, stuck in the comparison trap, anxious, unfulfilled.

I'd watch other people live extraordinary lives while mine passed by in notifications.

That's not the one life I want. And I'm guessing it's not the one you want either.

How to Actually Break Free

Here's the system that worked for me. Not theory. Not motivational fluff. Actual steps that gave me my life back.

1. Turn Off All Notifications (Except Texts and Calls)

Every ping and buzz is designed to grab your attention and trigger that dopamine hit.

Turn them all off. Instagram, email, news, everything except texts and calls.

Your peace of mind is more important than knowing the second someone tags you in a photo. Everything else can wait.

Action: Right now, go to settings and turn off every notification except texts and calls. This one change will cut your phone use by 30-40%.

2. Make Your Phone Boring

The reason you can't stop checking your phone is because it's designed to be stimulating.

Make it boring. Put it on grayscale (black and white). Suddenly, scrolling Instagram becomes way less appealing when it looks like you're living in the 1940s.

Delete the apps that waste your time. If you find yourself mindlessly opening an app you don't even care about, delete it.

Only check high-dopamine apps (social media, dating apps) on your computer, not your phone. Make your phone for texting and boring stuff only.

Action: Enable grayscale mode today. Delete one app you know is wasting your time.

3. Create Physical Distance

James Clear talks about this in Atomic Habits: make bad behaviors harder to do by changing your environment.

Charge your phone across the room, not on your bed. Get a $10 alarm clock so you don't need your phone as the first thing you touch every morning.

When you're working or studying, put your phone in another room or under a pillow. Hide it from yourself.

The harder it is to grab, the less you'll use it.

Action: Tonight, charge your phone across the room. Buy a physical alarm clock this week.

4. Set Time Boundaries

Create simple rules for when you can't use your phone.

Mine: No phone in bed. No phone during meals. No phone when hanging out with friends.

Pick 2-3 boundaries that matter to you and stick to them. These small rules compound into massive changes over time.

Action: Write down 2 rules for when you won't use your phone. Start today.

5. Use Apps to Lock Yourself Out

Your willpower isn't enough. You need systems.

I use apps like Jomo or Freedom that physically block me from using Instagram, TikTok, or Reddit before 3pm. No matter how hard I try, I can't access them.

These apps stop your automatic phone grab in its tracks and force you to be self-aware.

Action: Download one blocking app today. Set it to block your most addictive apps until after lunch.

6. Limit Your Daily Phone Time

Studies show that restricting phone use to 1 hour per day helps people regain control without the compulsive escalation that comes with unlimited access.

You don't need to go cold turkey. Just contain it. One hour to check DMs, text friends, make plans. Then put it away.

Action: Set a daily 1-hour limit on your most-used apps. When it's up, it's up.

What Changes When You Take Your Life Back

Here's what happened when I implemented this system.

After two weeks, I felt different. Less anxious. More present. I could actually focus on work for more than 15 minutes without instinctively checking Instagram.

After a month, I had more energy. Conversations felt deeper. I was creating instead of consuming.

After three months, I realized I'd gotten my life back. I wasn't watching everyone else live anymore. I was living.

I'm not perfect. I still check my phone more than I should sometimes. But I went from 7 hours a day to under 2 hours. That's 5 hours per day I got back.

That's 1,825 hours per year. 76 full days. Over 2 months of my life I'm no longer wasting on a screen.

You can do the same thing. You just have to start.

The Choice You're Making Right Now

Every day you spend addicted to your phone is a day you're not fully living.

You can keep scrolling and lose 10 years of your life to a screen.

Or you can take it back. Starting today.

Turn off notifications. Make your phone boring. Create distance. Set boundaries. Use blocking apps. Limit your time.

These aren't just tips. They're the difference between watching your life happen through a screen and actually living it.

You only get one life. Don't spend it scrolling through someone else's.

Just one life. Make it real.

TAKEAWAYS:

Your phone is designed to be addictive through constant dopamine hits that rewire your brain

The average person loses 10 years of their life to screens at current usage rates

Turn off all notifications except texts and calls immediately

Make your phone boring with grayscale and delete time-wasting apps

Create physical distance by charging across the room and getting a real alarm clock

Set clear boundaries for when you won't use your phone

Use blocking apps to lock yourself out of addictive apps during certain hours

Limit daily phone time to 1 hour to regain control without going cold turkey.

just one life,

Richard Founder of Elevenstoic

P.S. Real talk: I didn't eliminate my phone addiction, I redirected it.

Instead of scrolling other people's content, I started creating my own. Same phone, different purpose. That shift built Elevenstoic to 1M+ followers and turned it into a real business.

If you want the exact system I used to make that happen, Cinematic Studio has everything. But even without it—the move is simple: redirect the addiction. Create instead of consume. Your phone can steal your life or build it. Your choice.