how to get addicted to hard things

Hey there,

It's been a while since my last email and I'm not going to pretend it hasn't.

The last few weeks were completely consumed by building.

And I mean that literally, because we've been working on something behind the scenes that I can't fully talk about yet.

All I can say is that it's something you already know, but the way it's coming back is on a completely different level than before.

Those who've been here long enough probably already have a feeling about what it could be. And if you do, you're probably right.

I'll share everything in one of the next emails.

That's honestly also the reason the newsletter slipped. But I kept coming back to how much I miss writing these, so here's the deal: from now on this newsletter is back to weekly.

One email every week with one idea that can actually change something for you.

And today's topic is one of my favorites so far because it explains something I struggled with for years without understanding why.

Why you avoid the things you know you should do

You know exactly what you should be doing. You know you should learn that skill or work on that project or finally start that thing you keep talking about.

And you still don't do it.

For the longest time I thought that meant something was wrong with me. Like everyone else got a work ethic that I somehow didn't.

But it turns out there's actual neuroscience behind this, and once I understood it, a lot of things started making sense.

Your brain has two systems for handling tasks.

The first one handles everything automatic, like brushing your teeth or driving a car or scrolling. Things you've done so often that they basically cost you nothing.

The second one handles everything new and hard, like learning or building or creating. And this system burns real energy.

If you use it for too long, you get mentally exhausted, which is why your brain tries to avoid using it whenever it can.

So before every task, your brain runs a quiet calculation in the background. Is the reward worth the effort?

If yes, you start easily. If no, you feel that invisible wall of resistance.

And that's basically the whole game. That's why scrolling feels effortless and studying feels impossible. Scrolling is zero effort with instant reward, while the important stuff is high effort with a reward that's months or years away.

So your brain isn't broken.

It's doing exactly what it was designed to do.

How to actually beat the resistance

Here's the part that changed things for me.

You can't really change how much reward a task gives you, but you can change how much effort it feels like. And that's where everything shifts.

The first thing is to make the steps absurdly small.

Video game designers understand this better than probably anyone. They never make you fight the final boss on level one, because they cut the whole game into small levels and every completed level pulls you into the next one.

Ultramarathon runners do pretty much the same thing. T

hese people run hundreds of kilometers through rain and mountains, and they all describe the same mental trick: stop thinking about the finish line and focus on one single step.

Then the next one. That's how you run 200 kilometers, one step at a time.

And your projects work the same way. Don't write "build the website" on your list. Write "open the laptop" and then "create the folder". Make it so small that your brain has nothing left to resist.

The second thing is to change how the task feels.

There's a massive difference between "I have to do this" and "I choose to do this", even though it's the exact same task with the exact same effort.

Because your brain doesn't actually resist hard work. It resists work that feels imposed, even when you're the one imposing it.

The moment you tell yourself "I choose to work on this now so my evening is free", the resistance drops. I know it sounds too simple to work, but try it once and you'll feel the difference.

The third thing is to make small pacts with yourself.

Not "I'll go to the gym every day forever", because that's a lie your brain sees through immediately. Something like "I train three times a week for one month" works because it's short enough to actually finish.

And here's why this matters so much. Every time you complete one of these small commitments, your brain updates its image of who you are.

You slowly become someone who follows through, and that identity makes every future hard thing lighter.

The people who seem addicted to doing hard things aren't stronger than you. They've just stacked so many completed commitments that their brain expects to win.

One last thing

You don't force your way into discipline. You design your way into it.

And then you watch how things that felt impossible a month ago slowly become normal to you.

Just one life.

Richard, Founder of Elevenstoic

P.S. Good to be back. Weekly from now on. If there's a topic you want me to break down in one of the next emails, just reply to this one. I read everything. And keep an eye on your inbox, because what's coming next is bigger than anything we've done before.