How to Actually Live Your 20s (Not Waste Them Like Everyone Else)

Two years ago, I was 19 and completely lost.

I'd see people my age with clear paths. College to corporate. Startup to exit. Gap year to enlightenment. Everyone seemed to have a blueprint they were following.

Meanwhile, I was figuring out life through trial and error, deep in my own self-improvement journey, trying to understand what actually mattered.

My friends were getting internships at impressive companies. My parents were asking when I'd get a "real plan." And I was lying awake wondering if I was wasting the most important years of my life.

Then something shifted.

I stopped trying to follow anyone else's path and started building my own. Not through some grand plan, but through living, learning, and paying attention to what actually resonated with me.

I developed a philosophy about life through my own experiences. Just one life. That became my compass. And as I went deeper into that mindset, I realized I could turn it into something real by creating content that expressed what I was learning, what moved me, what I believed.

That's how Elevenstoic started. Not from a business plan. From a life philosophy that became a business because it was real.

Two years later, over a million people follow the page. Not because I followed someone's blueprint. Because I built my own.

The Two-Track System Nobody Teaches You

Here's what I learned about living your 20s without regrets.

Most people make one of two massive mistakes.

The one-track person goes all-in on a single rigid path. Law school. Six figures by 25. Corporate ladder. They might hit those goals, but they burn out because there's no soul in it. No exploration. No discovery. Just someone else's checklist.

The five-track person scatters across everything. Podcast, startup, travel, day trading, restaurant. Sounds exciting, but by 30 they've built five half-things and zero real skills.

Both waste your 20s.

The answer? Run two tracks simultaneously.

Track One: Stay open. Explore. Have adventures. Try different things. This is where you discover what actually connects with you at a deep level.

Track Two: Go deep on one thing. Pick something you're naturally drawn to and build real skill in it. Not five things. One thing.

The magic happens when both tracks run together. You're exploring life while building mastery. You're having experiences while developing something real.

For me, it looked like this: I was on my self-improvement journey, figuring out my philosophy about life. That exploration was Track One. But I channeled all of it into one direction, creating content that expressed those ideas. That focus was Track Two.

Direction with flexibility. Mastery with freedom.

The Five Rules for Not Wasting Your 20s

Let me give you the actual system.

1. Take Bets When You Have Nothing to Lose

Right now, your downside is zero and your upside is everything.

No mortgage. No kids. Minimal obligations. If you fail, what did you actually lose? Some time and ego.

This is your window for asymmetric bets. The thing you're scared to try? The worst case scenario is usually nothing compared to the regret of never trying.

I took the bet on Elevenstoic when I had nothing. If it failed, I'd be exactly where I started. If it worked, everything would change.

Action Step: Write down one thing you've been scared to try. Now ask yourself: what's the actual worst case if this fails? Usually, it's nothing serious. So why are you waiting?

2. Build Competence, Then Passion Follows

Stop chasing passion. Chase competence.

Passion is vague. "I'm passionate about travel" doesn't build a life. But "I'm good at visual storytelling" does.

We get passionate about things we're competent at, not the other way around. Competence creates results. Results create engagement. Engagement creates passion.

I didn't start because I was passionate about social media. I started because I had ideas that mattered to me and I wanted to express them. The passion came from getting good at it.

Action Step: Stop asking "What am I passionate about?" Start asking "What am I naturally better at than most people?" Pick that thing and commit to getting excellent at it for 12 months.

3. Winners Isolate, Losers Congregate

This one hurts, but it's true.

Stop networking. Stop the coffee meetings. Stop collecting contacts.

You know what actually works? Putting your head down and building something so good that people seek you out.

When you're 22 with nothing to show, networking is just talking to other people with nothing to show. When you're 25 with real results, everyone wants to talk to you.

The doors you think you need right now will open automatically when you've built something worth noticing.

Action Step: For the next 30 days, say no to every "let's grab coffee" or networking event. Use that time to work on your one thing. Watch what happens.

4. Decide in Minutes, Not Months

Money loves speed. Life rewards fast movers.

Most people spend weeks deliberating on decisions that should take 10 minutes. Then they wonder why nothing happens.

The heaviest things in life aren't iron or gold. They're unmade decisions. They drain your energy and keep you stuck.

Almost nothing is irreversible. You can always adjust. So stop treating every choice like it's permanent.

Action Step: Think of one decision you've been avoiding. Set a timer for 10 minutes. Make the decision before it goes off. Then take one action on it within the next hour.

5. Accept Boredom, Show Up Daily

Nobody cheers for you in the middle of the race.

No single workout changes anything. No one day of work is impressive. No one celebrates you on day 47 of your journey.

This is why most people quit. They need constant validation, constant excitement, constant proof it's working.

But real results come from boring consistency when no one's watching. Showing up every day even when it feels pointless. Building even when nobody cares yet.

The most important trait isn't talent. It's showing up consistently when it's boring, when it's hard, when there's no reward.

Action Step: Pick one daily action that will compound over time. Do it every single day for 90 days with zero exceptions. Track it. The goal isn't intensity, it's consistency.

What Changes When You Stop Following Blueprints

Here's what actually happened when I stopped trying to follow someone else's path.

At 19, I had nothing. No followers, no money, no clear future.

But I had something more valuable: a philosophy that was mine. Ideas about life that came from my own experience, not from copying someone else.

I took the bet when I had nothing to lose. I isolated and created instead of networking and talking. I made decisions fast. I showed up every single day even when it felt like nothing was happening.

Two years later, everything is different. Not because I followed a blueprint. Because I built my own through action and consistency.

You can do the same. You just have to start building instead of planning.

The Cost of Waiting

Every day you follow someone else's path is a day you're not building your own.

Every week you wait for clarity is a week of progress lost forever.

Every month you spend talking instead of working is a month you'll never get back.

Your 20s feel long, but they're not. The person who starts building at 21 has a massive advantage over the person who starts at 27. Not because of the time, but because of the compounding.

You're either moving toward something you actually want, or you're drifting toward something someone else decided for you.

The blueprint for your life doesn't exist yet. You create it through action, one decision at a time, one day at a time.

Stop drifting. Start building.

Just one life. Make it yours.

TAKEAWAYS:

• Run two tracks: explore widely while mastering one thing deeply

• Take bets now when your downside is zero and upside is everything

• Build competence first, passion follows from getting good at something

• Winners isolate and work, losers congregate and talk

• Make decisions fast, adjust faster, speed compounds

• Accept boredom as the price of excellence, show up daily when no one's watching

• Every day following someone else's blueprint is a day not building your own

P.S. What's one thing you've been putting off because you're waiting for the "right time"? Reply and tell me. Sometimes saying it out loud is the push you need to start. I read every response.

Just one life,

Richard, Founder of Elevenstoic